since the 5th of june? i feel like a fool...a fool that has been played with...yes i know i promised jiayi i wont go do anything to find him. but i really cnt help it sometimes. walk past hwa chong and see the bunch of them doing "drills" i feel like just walking into the middle of them and seek him out. but a promise is a promise. dnu if he still reads the blog but if he does. haha. oh wells. a promise i made a promise i will keep. called honor. smth that is not that common. sadly. oh well, i wont seek him out but that doesnt mean i didnt hope
that he wont seek me out. was hoping that he wld be dumb enuff to make a confrontation when i went to hc for the choir workshop in nov. cld have worked out some. has been long since i got into a good exercise. dang. oh well. but i prob wont do anything to him. for personal reasons that i'm not going to state. so hope he brings some friends that he doesnt like much so that at least he wont miss them. blehh. forgiveness is such a hard thing...

this is my 184th post. haha. i dunno why i took notice Xp under normal circumstance i wld curse teh world and say tks for screwing up my life. now i might not even be able to get a high sch diploma in china...so yes. thats under normal circumstances. but, surprisingly i'm not worried. not really surprisingly. they say your patriachal blessing gives you direction in life, gives you comfort. it really does...really

CHRISTMAS IS COMING! its the hap-hap happiest season!

the 20th was such a special dayy. in more than one way. rare that you can give and yet receive love on the same day. went to do the service project that was magnificently led by ying er the music genius. brought smiles to the old folk's face. so that was nice...but david, sherman, casey and i super zzz...stand there ring bell, hit drum, hit washboard. but at least we were a part lurh. so thats good (: got my teacher's cert and my deacon's cert that is well, 2year's due. never got it until now...oh well. haha. priest cert next! must go out for movie with the church doooodes. 

20th was also one of the happiest day of my life. got a few things that will last forever (: i hope. haha. will it? one is my printed patriachal blessing. read it again. amazing how the blessing is given by Elder Tan but not by Elder Tan? 

the other gift, well. haha. not going to say what it is but i really hope it lasts forever. hmm? (: pleaase...

 look at the stars...(: and count your blessings.

loving youuuu always...

haha. decided to put up some new music. haha. to suit my mood. heheh. and situation...leaving on a jet plane. haha. 

ok. got my black belt in primary2. haha. a record i think. haha. thinking of taking up krav maga now. get back the eye of the tiger again.

The rules:
Bold the statements that are true to you
Italise the statements that you WISH are true
Leave the Fibs alone
Then, stab 5 guys to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
i wear glasses or contact lenses
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. not proud of it...
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now. haha! any donations? (:
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
I have a lot of friends. i do rite? haha
I am currently single
I have pecked someone of the same sex. 
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat. 
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone...
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn. 
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex. 
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friends's ex.
I am happy at this moment!!
I'm obsessed with guys
I study for tests most of the time. wahaha! i do i do alright! believe it or not
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausage.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing. thanks lurh ben!
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle. 
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse. ridden...
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep. 
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. note the word tryyy...
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

Will stab:
1)amanda mak. lol

2)eugene. heh

3)Jac

4)marcus!!

5)ally. haha. oh wait she still have exam. 

yes. Armany...the chinese version of it i suppose...and the weird names some ppl have. one person was called eraser...another called rainy...like helloo! haha.
oh yeahh man. i wont die in china coz they have bakua! haha. grr. hope i can stay for new year eve dance. haha. 

man will i miss singapore. haha. all the frens here. so lets tick of a random few. haha. okok nj there are alottt. haha. cj, BENJAMIN! haha. and hes not even in cjc anymore...then there is nap. haha. ngee ann poly. the school with the mega huge campus that i got lost in. yeah. haha. casey and kandace. haha. 2 retardedly funny and cool people (: st nicks. haha. dun noe many ppl frm stnicks my age . i know 3 issit? or more. haha. good frens with 2 of them who are really crazy ppl. (Xp must be the sch larrh) and the last one, if she wasnt trying to kill me everytime we meet, lol. mayb can be gd frens XD heheheh. soo many more people. see thats the thing when you change sch every 2years. 3primary schs. 2 sec schs. madness...

i've got to get a job. i've got to finish making all the presents i need to. i've got to get my life straight!

pictures! haha

damn wasnt i cute. hahaha! still am heheh. find me if you can
lover's bridge
the place to be (:
haha. i like smelly tofu....yarr right.